| NOTE:
As of 2/3/11 the Sunshine Pottery Studio will not
be holding it's summer camps for 2011. Please check
out www.SunshinePotteryStudio.com for more information.
If
anyone asked me “would you like a fire to burn
through your land and cancer to come knocking at your
door in the month after?” Of course I would say,
“Are you crazy?” But, as it turns out that
is exactly what happened to me. And while I might never
have asked for it, I find that I am feeling grateful
these days.
It is hard to explain, but when Jennifer asked me to
write about this gratitude I decided to give it a try.
I love my life, I give everything I have to this beautiful
existence. I live totally and try not to step on people’s
toes. I get beautiful visions of serving kids in a clay
camp, of playing with my daughter on horses in the mountains
and building amazing buildings and forms with my beloved
husband out of wood and clay in the mountains.
But, I have this one body and I have worked hard and
I never knew how to take of me very well. Before I was
a mom, I owned Simply Organized and loved organizing
people’s lives, from cars to mansions to offices
to estates. I never stopped to eat and ran on sugar
and caffeine. I was the Boulder Entrepreneur making
lots of money and loving people. I also belonged to
a spiritual community and between munching on organic
chocolate bars, a latte and or a scone, I would spend
all of my evenings cleaning meditation rooms, organizing
retreats and not sleeping much.
Post child, I stopped working, started to cook and eat
better, take care of my baby and watch my husband work
like crazy! I never saw him until the night when I was
exhausted and so was he.
When we bought our land in the mountains, it was our
dream come true. Get out of downtown, build the pottery
studio, have horses, chickens…you name it, we
were going to do it. We found the most amazing mountain
school, Gold Hill, for our daughter to attend and things
were sweet for a while. We were building our dream and
most importantly we were happy. Even so, we felt there
were changes that needed to be made in our lives.
My beloved husband was always working and then coming
home and working some more. Times to just hang out and
doing nothing were few and far between.
Privately I would pray, in the shower or on the mountain,
thank you Divine, for all of these gifts, for our health,
for our land, for our love. But I also felt like we
were on this crazy wheel that was grinding us down and
never seemed to stop. The wheel of so much work, so
tired all the time and not very much space to just relax
and enjoy life. I said, “Please Divine, stop the
wheel.”
I created our wonderful summer clay camps and these
amazing kids would show up every day to play in the
sun and in the water and in the clay. I was in love
and having a blast.
Once in a while Stephen (my husband) would come and
throw pots for the kids and it was the highlight of
the week and I would think, when are we going to do
this together again? We had pottery studios before together
and our happiest times were when we worked together
and were creative. When will it be Sunshine Pottery
Studio with the Hatlands not just Mira?
I also noticed that I was really tired and had to drag
myself to keep up with those kids, even with a helper.
At four O’clock, I would sit in our swings and
sleep so that my bones could rest.
Through it all, I continued to pray, “Please,
Divine, stop the wheel.”
At the end of the summer, we celebrated our last camp
and Labor Day was coming. We thought, let’s go
away to a hot springs, no let’s stay here and
do nothing. We had two days of doing nothing. We swung
on the swings, we rode horses, we slept and the three
of us were slowing down…and then the fire came.
We evacuated with my daughter, a truck full of tools,
a mother mastiff and her nine puppies, a cat and later
my husband got a ride up the mountain and hiked our
horses down Sunshine Canyon out of the smoke.
Of course things were chaotic, finding socks for my
daughter, food for the animals, places for everything
but Boulder came through. For the first time I experienced
how powerful our community is, and when it had to take
care of its own, it did in flying colors.
We had toys for our daughter, clothing for all of us,
places to live, meals to eat every day, first aid, shoes,
even entertainment. We cried every day with gratitude
for our community and gratitude for the safety of our
family and friends.
We were given a house to relocate to until we handled
our land. Our house was still standing, everything else
was gone.
I remember sitting up in the soot, looking at our mangled
pottery studio roof and burnt trees and I thought “Wow,
we’re starting over again with a clean slate”,
and then I remembered my prayer…
“Please Divine, stop the wheel.”
Stephen and I were going right into our old busy mind
set. When and how are we going to rebuild, and let’s
do this and let’s do that…and then we stopped
and took a breath and thought, “We’re off
the wheel, let’s see what happens now.”
We cleaned the house with crews of friends and I noticed
a large growth on my neck. We figured it was my lymph
system not being able to handle all of the smoke and
toxins and I went into action to clear my lymph system
organically. But, to no avail and on November 3rd, I
was told I had lymphoma.
“Please Divine, stop the wheel.”
I have stopped the wheel, or the wheel has stopped me.
My family is grateful that I am alive. My family is
grateful for all that has happened. We are getting to
start over again in a healthier way. My Lymphoma diagnosis
is a good one. As my doc would say “if you are
going to be told you have cancer, this is the most curable
of them all.” I thank the Divine for giving me
a chance to live, to be able to start over with infinitely
more energy, clarity and gratitude.
I thank myself for praying to get off the wheel and
spend more quality time with my body, with my husband,
and with my daughter. We are looking at everything.
We are re-evaluating it all. What do we really want
in our lives? How can we slow down, smell the roses
and appreciate each moment in this precious life? The
Fire burnt through our land and made us take a breath.
In March we will return to our mountain home. I will
continue to heal up there in our cabin. Sunshine Pottery
Studio will be our next adventure and, who knows, maybe
this spring we’ll continue the amazing clay camps
for the children.
I think only when the wheel has slowed down enough,
will life show us the next step of our beautiful mountain
oasis.
Hopefully you will watch our Web site and the progression
of www.sunshinepotterystudio.com.
With all my blessings and gratitude.
With love, Mira Hatland
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